Notes on Transitions

Transitions,,, When I hear the word, I can feel my shoulders rise up to try to eat my head!  Anxiety!

I went to a workshop on transitions several years ago and I'm going to give you some of my notes and thoughts from that workshop.  This was after my first surgery and before my second one, when I was just starting to grasp, that my life, as I knew it, was ending with no idea how this was going to turn out.

"Not in his goals, but in his transitions, man is great."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with, not against it.  Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy.  This will miraculously transform your whole life."  Ekhart Tolle

"What we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning.  The end is where we start from."  T.S. Eliot

4 Basic Principles

1) accept what is--this means to be present in the moment without resistance.  This is the foundation of taking effective action.  For me, taking effective action is key.  Sometimes, I just want to take action, just let me do something to improve my out come!  When you have acceptance, then you can RESPOND appropriately to what is happening rather than REACT.  Acceptance doesn't mean resignation.  Be here now.
Jamie's experience...Accepting that this is now my life, as a disabled person has been most difficult.  My usual method to my life is to push through and get what I want.  It had always worked before, careful planning and hard work would always result in the desired destination.  Not so with this illness.  I must move from all this regret of how my life isn't ideal and away from the fear about what is to come towards acceptance.  Live in the present Moment!

2) trust and let go-- every experience has a mind and a body experience.  The mind experience is images and what we tell ourselves.  The body is our sense perceptions, how does it smell, taste , feel, what does it sound like.  also our inner perceptions such as heart pounding, sweating, how is the breathing.  The body is also our emotions as we experience them.  Be awake to the experience and let go.
Jamie's experience...I ask myself. 
What do I need to Trust in to make my way through this current transition?
Community Support
My own skill and strength
Divine Guidance
my body to tell me, what is
Letting go of the Known in order to Move to the Unknown.
What do I need to let go of:
my ego
My stubborn idea of who I am --nurse-midwife as Identity
Myself as Wise Woman Midwife, expert and have a willingness to be Novice again
let go of fear that I am not loveable because I can't contribute to the world in the same way.   
3) embrace the learning and the gifts --Ok, so the Gifts only come in hindsight.  It is difficult to see the "gifts" while you are in the thick of it.  Stop and think, what can I learn here?  This helps to put the transition in context of your life.  The "this sucks" mantra, I have found not to be very helpful.Jamie's experience...For me, I look at the worst case scenario...What will it cost me If I don't open up to this learning?  I could live a purposeless life from here on out.  I could continue my stubborn life of fear.  This is not very appealing so I must:
embrace the Feelings
Not live in Fear space
More heart and less mind (in many traditions, this is the desired effect of years of diligent training, meditation etc....so I have been given this short cut because my brain works less, my heart is the better place to operate from...this is actually a GIFT)
Gifts--1)I understand that people love my unconditionally, since I am unable to do something useful for them.
2) I can now ask for help occassionally.  I live a community supported life.
3)I have a more balanced life.  Before it was work and work only,everything else, including my daughter, was second.
4) I have time to be present with my daughter.  I have time to create with clay.  I have time to have good relationships with other people.

4) Look for the opening-- Look for the way, the portal to the Divine.  How do I make this transition?  Remember, you don't have to choose the "right path", you just knowing the next step is enough. 

Jamie's experience...  Ok, so the opening is that, I don't have a choice!  The fact is, I am unable to ever be who I was before the illness.  This is true for all of us, we are not who we were last year, but it is less noticeable if nothing has really changed.  So here it is, this fact that change has occurred and I can embrace it and discover each day, how I can live this day best.  How can I connect with Divine today and be of service to my world around me?  Now I must live from my heart place.  Now, I must remember to be flexable as things continue to change.  The me today or tomorrow can be more connected and more beautiful.  i'm here so I must have a Divine purpose.