connecting with the past

My friend's mother died recently.  I'm getting to the age where this happens with more frequency.  Each time a dear one loses a parent I'm hit anew with the possibility that it could happen to me.  To remain in this world without the One who has loved you best and absolutely unconditionally for the whole of your life ...I can't imagine how that must feel, the deep loneliness for this person, your mother or father.  A part of your very core being has left the planet is what I imagine it feels like.  When I was most sick, (as well as every other day of my life,) my parents have been ever present, always I know that I can depend on them if I need for anything...money, whether they have it to spare or not, if I need it then I will have it, random things like paper towels, or a box of taco mix....just when I need it and I have no $ to get it but wouldn't ask unless all the mac and cheese boxes were used up!  Always there to help , buying the child a coat every year, when she has outgrown the last one and all the back to school expenses piling up and there are my parents with the new beautiful coat or new shoes or whatever, taking good care of us all, like a personal fairy godmother/godfather.  My Dad fixing every house I've ever lived in, and repairing when I leave whatever damage my dogs have done.  He doesn't even have a dog but has become a professional in "after the dog repair".    For anyone to lose this magic from the planet makes me unbelievably sad.

My friend at her office

So this story began with my friend recently losing her mother.  Her mother was a magical woman of 90 with much life experience and zest for life that was inspiring for all.  She is missed by many but we understand that no one can live forever no matter how loved they are here.  It gets uncomfortable here in a body that is old and tired and I would not wish such suffering on anyone.  I happened to be out of town when my friends mother died and the funeral occurred.  I am not good in crowds, they makes me anxious but even still I wanted to be there with my friend (who also doesn't enjoy a crowd).  What could I offer her.  This week my friend asked me to repair a pillow that was hand embroidered by her great grandmother for her mother.  It is a beautiful work of birds and flowers and inside there was an old tired pillow and then to add some fluff after the pillow got too tired there were panty hose added around the edges and a small tag that said, "made especially for you by Granny".  How sweet to have hands on this gift of time and love that has passed down through the generations of my friend.  I could feel the loved imbued within this sacred and intimate object.  I felt such an honor to repair this pillow and glad there was something I could do, physically do, to honor my friend's mother and their connection and all of our connection to those we love and cherish.

Melanie and Her Mama